When I must use EJBs, I use XDoclet comments, ant build targets, etc. to take most of the hassle out of using EJBs. The new EJB 3.0 specification that uses new features of JDK 1.5 (or 5) looks like a definite improvement.
Still, like a lot of server side Java developers I usually do not need EJBs for my projects. If I can avoid even using a relational database, the use of Prevalyer makes server side back-end development fast and easy - if not, Hibernate is my tool of choice.
I use IntelliJ for about 90% of my Java development. Future versions of IntelliJ will probably simplify using the new EJB 3.0 specification just as the current version greatly facilitates using JSPs, EJBs, etc. So, I might start using EJBs again - wait and see.